Core strength, muscle tone, enhanced fitness – its all about conditioning your body and making sure you have the strength to do the impossible, physically and mentally.
One of our greatest additions over the past 6 months is a dedicated Body Conditioning Class that we run on a Thursday (18H30 during Academy times, 17H30 during Lockdown over Zoom). This is led by our very own Matador (Rob Purves), who is a Consulting Sports Scientist and runs his own business, The Strength Lab, from his home-based offices in Blairgowrie. Make no mistake about Matador; while his cool, casual and happy demeanour, smart appearance, cut physique and calming smile makes you think he’s going to go light on you, he is an evil sadistic practitioner of dark magic who takes savage joy in torturing and ripping your body into a brazillion pieces, making you wish for the sweet release of death.
I’m positive that there are certain merciless, remorseless deities lurking in our subconscious that salivate over the opportunity to be at the class, taking notes and working on techniques of splitting our souls and crushing our will to live (now I know where Warlords have gotten their training from). It’s impossible to explain how he pushes, and pushes, and pushes way beyond your limits with such pleasure and calmness in his voice that you’d think you’ve stepped into an alternate reality where up is down, good is bad, and pain is pleasure. And that’s just the point. As excruciating it is, we have all become hooked and addicted to his efforts and energy, so much so that if we can walk out of a class, then Matador gets lambasted for having not done a brutal enough job.
These sessions are filled with exciting and fun challenges, alternative ways of making the tiniest of movements change every aspect of your muscle groups, and unique games that extend you physically beyond your limits. It’s all about toning your body and your muscles while having an enormous amount of fun and being distracted by the imminent demise of your bodies ability to stay conscious. An incredible class to be a part of, and one that any deranged sociopath would give a slow clap to. Oh, and never, NEVER, try outperform him. You can try, but it doesn’t end well, for you (you know who you are….)
matador[ mat-uh-dawr ]
- the principal bullfighter in a bullfight who passes the bull with a muleta and then, in many countries, kills it with a sword thrust; a torero.
- Killer; portuguese
- Bulls? You mean those small cute fluffy things? They make for nice plushies